


Yearning

by little0bird



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Dreaming, Fantasizing, Guilt, Guilty Pleasures, Imagining Kallus left Bahryn with the Spectres, Lasats (Star Wars), M/M, Masturbation, Post-Episode: s02e17 The Honorable Ones, Pre-Alexsandr Kallus/Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios, Pre-Episode: s02e21-22 Zero Hour, Sex, Shame, Walk Of Shame, Zeb fantasizing about Kallus, kalluzeb - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:47:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27323734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/little0bird/pseuds/little0bird
Summary: As the euphoria wore off, Zeb felt the churn of guilt and shame swirl in his gut. He could live with wanting to fuck Kallus, especially when emotions weren’t involved. It had been years since he’d wanted to fuck anyone and bring emotions into it.Not since his last partner on Lasan.And he’d just fantasized using the same affectionate words and phrases with ISB Agent Kallus. Calling him Alexsandr didn’t change the fact he was an Imp, no matter how much he wanted it to. Zeb dragged a hand over his face and rolled onto his side, bringing his knees into his chest. His entire family was gone, possibly at the hands of that man, and he wanted him. Not just physically. He wanted Kallus to find out the truth behind the Empire and defect. He wanted to build on their nascent friendship from Bahryn. If he were being completely honest with himself, he wanted him as a lover and companion.In doing so, it felt like a betrayal of the worst kind.
Relationships: Alexsandr Kallus/Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios
Comments: 18
Kudos: 93





	Yearning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pokkit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pokkit/gifts).



> A companion piece with "Desire."
> 
> For Pokkit, becuase when I mused about writing this, I received enthusiastic encouragement.

‘We’ll treat ya fairly.’ Zeb could feel the Imperial agent shivering. He doubted the Empire had done more than a cursory look before abandoning Kallus as lost and soon to be dead. The sheer size of the machinery of the Empire meant there was always someone else to take your place. ‘If ya don’t want to stay with us, we’ll find a merchant or something to get ya back to your precious Empire.’

Kallus blinked slowly, then shifted his weight just enough so it brought him closer to Zeb. ‘The other Spectres will treat me fairly, Garazeb?’ His chin dropped a little and one brow slowly rose as his fingers combed through Zeb’s facial hair. ‘Or you?’

Zeb gulped. The agent’s resonant voice was luscious and rich like ripe muja fruit. Hearing his given name in that full-bodied voice sent a shiver down Zeb’s spine the had nothing to do with the cold and everything to do with the warmth pooling between his thighs. He dragged a thumb over Kallus’ lower lip. Kallus turned his head just enough to nibble it. He growled softly. ‘Oh, I will treat ya fairly. _Agent_.’

* * *

Zeb’s eyes flew open. His usual odor was more intense than usual, made more so by the answering slick between his legs. _Karabast_.

‘What the kark did you eat before you went to bed?’ Ezra complained, his voice hazy and indistinct as he roused a little from the smell before going limp with sleep once again.

Zeb gingerly rolled off his bunk. It had been decades since he’d awakened in such a state. He was going to have to do something about it, and soon. His bunk was clearly out of the question due to the currently unwelcome presence of Ezra in the upper bunk. There was only one ‘fresher on _Ghost,_ and it was only common courtesy not to monopolize it just so he could do something about his aching cock. When Lasat males came, there was lots of it, viscous and extremely difficult to clean from the shower cubicle. He’d never forget the abject humiliation he felt when his old grandmother forced him to scrub the ‘fresher in his childhood home from floor to ceiling after one energetic session as an adolescent kit. Zeb did not want to bother with scouring the ‘fresher at whatever Ashla-forsaken hour it would be when he finished. In fact, the entirety of the _Ghost_ and _Phantom_ were out. His scent would hang in the air for hours afterward, a trait evolution hadn’t yet decided was unnecessary in order to drive off rival Lasat or apex predators. There was only one thing he could do. Zeb had to take it outside. He peeled off his jumpsuit and changed into a pair of loose pants, not unlike the sort he’d worn on Lasan during his leisure time, eschewing a shirt, and feeling his cock throb, snatched up a towel. Then, after a moment’s thought, another one. The rest of the ship slept soundly, and he slipped out of the _Ghost_ into the crisp night.

Chopper Base was quiet and dimly lit. Zeb roamed around, searching for somewhere — a corner behind a crate even — that was relatively private and isolated. And not part of the sentries’ night watch. His hideout wasn’t an option. Sentires passed by it regularly at night. He briefly considered the supply area. There were a few places where the crates were stacked in such a way that he would have been hidden from any sentries, but AP-5 patrolled it with the zeal of one who had undergone a religious epiphany. He wasn’t particularly choosy at the moment. He’d fuck a hole in the ground if the opportunity presented itself in the next five minutes. Zeb glanced up at one of the stands of plated tree coral that towered over him. He knew the fronds were broad enough to conceal him from anyone on the ground, and most importantly, they could hold his weight.

He jumped up, grabbed the lowest frond, and hauled himself up, then continued climbing until he was halfway up the tree. He settled on his back. The frond’s surface was slightly abrasive, but not enough to cause him permanent damage. Zeb removed his trousers and rolled them up with the towels, which he then tucked under his head.

He lay for a few moments, letting the swirling eddies of the night’s breeze play over his overheated body. He spread his legs, gasping as the cool air drifted over his slit. Zeb reached down with a sigh, reminding himself to be patient. Evolution also had yet to make the emergence of a Lasat cock a straightforward or swift process. It had to be coaxed out, regardless of how aroused he was.

Zeb used two fingers of one hand to part his slit, allowing the head of his cock to protrude between them. He stroked the sensitive edges, his hand stuttering as he imagined Kallus’ tongue delicately lapping along the slit.

_No._

_Not him._

Zeb screwed his eyes shut and tried to recall one of the nameless faces of other men who’d taken his cock in their mouths for money, or more often than not, the notoriety and experience of kriffing one of the last living Lasat. He finally settled on the memory of one of his classmates in the Honor Guard academy who enjoyed a good kriffing after a sparring match. Zeb resumed his feather light touches, encouraging his cock to jut out a little more. His toes curled against the gnarled tree trunk.

He pictured cupping the back of the other man’s head as it bobbed up and down on his cock. The dusky purple and lilac stripes in his mind’s eye gradually lightened until they were messy blonde strands of human hair clutched between his fingers. ‘So good...’ Zeb’s other hand found a nipple and drew one claw over it until it stiffened. He licked the tip of his finger and rubbed it over the nub, all too easily picturing Kallus’ tongue swirling around it before he pulled it into his mouth, sucking and biting at the tender flesh. The rest of his cock and his balls emerged from the slit with a squelching sound. The fluid from his slit trickled into the cleft of his ass. He unthinkingly slipped a finger between the cheeks and massaged his opening. His mind went unerringly to the feel of the Kallus’ hand in his. His hands were big and strong enough to easily handle a bo-rifle. He could even fire it one-handed with astounding accuracy. Zeb felt a rumble deep within his chest at the thought of those strong fingers and hands gripping his hips, his cock. His mouth hung open as he imagined those long fingers entering him with exquisite languor.

Zeb stared up at the canopy of stars, drawing in greedy lungfuls of air. Why _him_? Why did he want nothing more than to let his sworn enemy kriff him into oblivion? It was one thing to fantasize about a human. The few humans he’d bedded had been eager and willing with dexterous fingers and tongues. It was quite another to fantasize about a karking Imperial who’d repeatedly attempted to kill him and was part of an organization that wiped out his planet.

_Karabast._

The more he thought about the man, the more his cock throbbed.

 _Stop it_ , he told himself sternly.

Perhaps he just needed to embrace the fantasy. Just this once to get it out of his system. To let himself imagine what could have been. Surely it had to be an after effect of their camaraderie on Bahryn? Zeb’s back arched. It was only sex, not the Dark side of the Force. What was the harm in indulging himself for the next hour? He’d bet a flagon of dragonjuice that despite Kallus’ uptight and controlled demeanour, he was positively wanton in bed. The quiet, repressed types usually were. Zeb closed his eyes and stroked his cock. It was his fantasy after all.

* * *

Zeb stretched out on the platform, throwing one arm over his face. The other Spectres would free him. He was sure of it. In the meantime, he reasoned he might as well get some rest. Agent Kallus hadn’t yet initiated the interrogation procedures, so the cell was only illuminated by the deep red lights in the ceiling. And it was quiet.

Zeb’s ears perked up at the sound of footsteps outside the cell. Only one pair of booted feet on the durasteel floor. He forced himself to remain in his position, looking for all the world as though he were on a holiday on some tropical planet, lying in the sand while the sound and scent of the surf drifted over him. The door slid open and Kallus entered cell, then closed the door behind him. He said nothing, so Zeb spoke with a lazy drawl. ‘Can I help ya, Agent?’

‘Perhaps I might be able to help you, Garazeb.’ Zeb heard the sound of fabric falling to the floor and opened his eyes. Kallus stood bare chested, tugging off one of his boots. He pulled off the other and set them aside. ‘The cameras are off. The guards have been dismissed. My calculations based on our previous history estimate we have roughly forty-five minutes before your friends come to rescue you.’ He undid his trousers and shoved them down his hips, then kicked them aside. An impatient frown marred his handsome features. ‘Unless you desire them to find you balls deep in an Imperial agent, I suggest you remove your clothing. Or only what you require in order to satisfy your more carnal urges.’

Zeb sat up. ‘What makes you think I have… how did you put it? _Carnal urges?_ Especially where you’re concerned? _’_

Kallus glided toward him, eyes glowing in the dim cell, one hand idly stroking his erect cock. ‘Your scent,’ he said succinctly, as he stepped between Zeb’s spread thighs. He then inhaled deeply, nose hovering just over Zeb’s head. ‘It’s stronger when you’re aroused,’ he murmured. ‘Like it was when we fought on Lothal the first time.’ He traced the edge of Zeb’s ear with a delicate touch. ‘Like all Lasat males.’

Zeb pushed himself to his feet, letting his nose slide up the thatch of hair that flared between Kallus’ thighs, then darted up the planes of stomach and chest. ‘Huh. I thought the Empire had all information regarding Lasats destroyed…’

‘No. But you have to search for it. And I am nothing if not tenacious.’

Zeb grasped the tab of his jumpsuit’s zipper between his thumb and forefinger. ‘And what else did yer research tell ya?’ He smirked as Kallus’ eyes followed the path of the zipper down Zeb’s body. He pushed the jumpsuit down to his knees.

Kallus glanced at the chronometer strapped to his wrist. ‘Why don’t I show you? We’re wasting time, and your friends should be here in forty minutes.’ He dropped to his knees and pressed his open mouth to Zeb’s slit.

Zeb nearly forgot to breathe.

Sooner than he thought possible, Kallus had managed to entice his cock to fully emerge and was mouthing it with evident enthusiasm and a level of skill that belied his straightlaced exterior. Zeb carded his fingers through Kallus’ hair. He groaned when Kallus ran his tongue just inside his slit. His previous non-Lasat partners had never thought to pay it any attention once his cock emerged. ‘Ya did do yer homework, didn’t ya? Course ya did...’. Kallus smiled around his cock, saliva streaming from the corners of his mouth. Zeb’s hands tightened in his hair as the infernal man let his cock slide from his mouth. ‘How much time?’ Zeb panted.

Kallus tilted his wrist so he could study his chronometer while he worked his jaw from side to side. ‘Twenty minutes.’

‘Karabast.’ Zeb lowered himself into a crouch. ‘C’mere.’ He dragged Kallus forward and pushed him against the platform, then nudged his thighs apart. ‘Don’t have enough time to keep going that way.’ Zeb swirled a finger around his slit, then dragged it between Kallus’ cheeks.

‘You needn’t take your time,’ Kallus said with a breathy moan.

Zeb paused, then easily slid his finger inside. ‘Ya got ready for me?’

Kallus nodded, pushing back against Zeb’s hand. ‘Took longer than I thought. Meant to be here earlier.’ He growled, pressing his forehead against the top of the platform. ‘Stars, Garazeb, just fuck me already.’

Zeb aligned his cock with Kallus’ entrance and pushed in just the head. ‘Ya want all of me?’

The agent’s fingers dug into the platform. ‘Do it.’

Zeb didn’t have to be told twice.

* * *

Zeb’s arms flew over his head. He snarled, digging his claws into the frond.

He was so close. He changed the speed, the pressure. Worked himself into a frenzy, and he still danced on the edge. Not even fantasizing about bending the man over in a Star Destroyer detention cell worked. Zeb was ready to weep out of sheer frustration. It would be light soon. He just needed the one. He glared at the stars as though they might hold the answer to his prayers. His eyes drifted shut and he ran his claws lightly over his chest. Zeb shuddered and let out a whimper at the memory of the lilt in the agent’s voice when he called him ‘Garazeb.’

The problem was, Alexsandr wasn’t a nameless face. In a different time and place, they might have been friends. Perhaps even lovers.

_Alexsandr?_

The hair on the back of Zeb’s neck rippled. Where the kark had that come from?

He had a vague memory of seeing it in a stolen data file. The Spectres never used the agent’s given name. Simply referring to him as Kallus kept him firmly on the “them” side. He’d never told the others Kallus had been on that Geonosian moon with him, only because it wasn’t Agent Kallus with him. It was Alexsandr.

‘Alexsandr…’ he moaned. He wanted to punch Kallus’ face in, but he wanted to cradle Alexsandr’s between his hands and scent him.

Alexsandr would willingly kneel in front of him, revelling in the scent of his arousal. Kallus would not.

And if Zeb needed something more than mere physical release, it was the connection with another being. Someone who saw him as more than just the muscle. He rearranged himself on the frond and cupped his balls with one slippery hand. ‘Let’s try this again,’ he muttered.

* * *

The door slid open to admit Zeb, carrying a bundle under one arm. Alexsandr sat on the edge of his bunk in a tiny room on the Rebel transport. He wasn’t technically a prisoner, but he wasn’t a defector free to roam the ship. Not yet. All in all, they had been quite generous. Plenty of real food. Caf. He wasn’t allowed access to the HoloNet, but a selection of holonovels of dubious literary value lay scattered over the table built into the wall. ‘Brought ya something to change into. If ya want to get out of that uniform,’ Zeb told him, setting the bundle down.

Alexsandr leaned back on his elbows, a flirtatious smile on his mouth. ‘Admit it, Garazeb. You just want to see me out of my clothes.’

‘So what if I do?’

‘Then you could assist me.’ Alexsandr pushed himself off the bed and came to stand in front of Zeb.

Zeb fingered the high collar of the tunic, then eased the hook that held it closed free. Zeb lowered his mouth to the column of Alexsandr’s throat, tongue flicking over the pulse that beat in the hollow at the base of it. He quickly undid the others that marched to his right shoulder and down to the hem. He skimmed his hands up Alexsandr’s torso, then let them rest on his shoulders for a brief moment before he slid the tunic from them and down his arms. ‘Karabast, you’re beautiful,’ Zeb breathed.

‘Stop…’ Alexsandr muttered, flushing. He leaned forward burying his nose in the juncture of Zeb’s neck and shoulder, breathing in deeply.

Zeb twitched, self-consciously aware of the scent emanating from him. ‘Sorry ‘bout the smell,’ he said.

Alexsandr took one of Zeb’s hands and pressed it to the sizeable bulge in his trousers. ‘Garazeb, who says I mind the smell…?’

‘Oh…’ Zeb fumbled with the fastenings of Alexsandr’s trousers, dizzy with the effort it took to not scoop up the other man and fuck him into the mattress. ‘’M gonna kriff ya good and proper.’ He used one foot to shove the trousers and undershorts down Alexsandr’s legs, all the while fondling his warm, heavy balls with one hand. ‘It’s gonna be so good, I’ll ruin ya for anyone else.’

Alexsandr found the tab of the zipper that fastened Zeb’s jumpsuit and slowly dragged it down. The tip of his tongue poked out and swept over his dry lips. ‘Promise?’

Zeb’s hands slid into Alexsandr’s disheveled hair. He’d showered recently, and his hair was still slightly damp. His mouth hovered over the other man’s for a moment. Kissing wasn’t a Lasat custom, but he’d learned and developed a liking for it. In this moment, Alexsandr’s mouth was soft and inviting. Zeb fitted his mouth over Alexsandr’s, tracing the seam of his lips with the tip of his tongue in a hesitant invitation. Alexsandr opened his mouth, and let his tongue dance with Zeb’s, while he worked Zeb’s jumpsuit down his torso. Zeb pushed it the rest of the way down, and they stood bodies pressed tightly together

‘You do have fur,’ Alexsandr murmured, running his palms up Zeb’s naked back. It was so short and fine that it was assumed Lasat had no fur at all, but this felt like the finest velvet. He couldn’t help but rub his cheek over Zeb’s chest. He snaked a hand between them and slid a finger along Zeb’s slit. ‘The specs for my bunk say it can hold up to two hundred and fifty kilos,’ he commented.

Zeb widened his stance to give Alexsandr’s questing hand more room to explore. ‘Yeah?’ He felt the head of his cock begin to peep out from his slit.

‘It will be…’ Alexsandr traced a meandering path around the head of Zeb’s cock. Zeb inhaled sharply and bit down on Alexsandr’s shoulder. ’Somewhat cramped…’

Zeb backed him up against the edge of the cot by way of a reply. Alexsandr climbed onto it, tugging Zeb down with him. He wrapped his legs around Zeb’s hips, bringing his cock into contact with Zeb’s. Zeb held himself up on his elbows. ‘I’ll crush ya.’

‘I can handle it,’ Alexsandr assured him, capturing Zeb’s mouth.

Zeb shifted them onto their sides. One hand kneaded the firm muscle of Alexsandr’s arse, making him squirm. Zeb couldn’t deny the friction between their cocks was delicious, but that wasn’t his goal. He’d promised to kriff him like no other, and he meant to fulfill that promise. Enough of his slick had dribbled into the crease of Alexsandr’s ass, so he massaged the opening with a fingertip, easing inside just to the first knuckle. Alexsandr rutted against Zeb’s thigh, fingers curling into his arms. Unable to contain it any longer, Alexsander threw his head back with a gurgling moan. ‘That feel good?’ Zeb murmured, pushing in more of his finger. Alexsandr could only nod, face suffused with pleasure, hazel eyes rolling back in his head with utter bliss. Zeb ran his other thumb over Alexsandr’s swollen mouth. ‘Ya look a right mess.’

‘And whose fault it that, Garazeb?’ Alexsandr took Zeb’s thumb into his mouth.

Zeb chuckled throatily, giving him a hard, sucking kiss at the base of his throat. He rolled onto his back, and slid a second finger into Alexsandr. ‘Happy to take the blame.’

‘ _Fuck…_ ’ Alexsandr rolled his hips, seeking enough friction to bring himself off. ‘Karabast…’ He reached down and wrapped his fingers around Zeb’s cock, squeezing it lightly. ‘Inside me,’ he grunted. ‘Now.’

‘Always this impatient?’

Alexsandr sat up, bracing his hands on Zeb’s chest, his back arched. ‘Zeb, please…’ he whined.

Zeb slowly pulled his fingers out, then positioned his cock at Alexsandr’s entrance and tilted his hips up. ‘As ya wish.’

* * *

‘Unnnnggggghhhh.’

Zeb turned his face to the side. Long ropes of spunk striped his chest and stomach. His cock pulsed in his fist, then slowly receded back into his slit. He fumbled for the towels, cleaning off as much of the sticky mess as best he could, then lay in a sprawl on the frond, too limp to move.

As the euphoria wore off, Zeb felt the churn of guilt and shame swirl in his gut. He could live with wanting to fuck Kallus, especially when emotions weren’t involved. It had been years since he’d wanted to fuck anyone and bring emotions into it.

Not since his last partner on Lasan.

And he’d just fantasized using the same affectionate words and phrases with ISB Agent Kallus. Calling him Alexsandr didn’t change the fact he was an Imp, no matter how much he wanted it to. Zeb dragged a hand over his face and rolled onto his side, bringing his knees into his chest. His entire family was gone, possibly at the hands of that man, and he wanted him. Not just physically. He wanted Kallus to find out the truth behind the Empire and defect. He wanted to build on their nascent friendship from Bahryn. If he were being completely honest with himself, he wanted him as a lover and companion.

In doing so, it felt like a betrayal of the worst kind.

Zeb curled into himself around the burn of remorse and dishonor. He only roused when the gloaming threatened to reveal his hiding place.

Zeb managed to dress and climb down from the tree without being seen. As he made his way back to the _Ghost,_ he felt drained, satisfied, and deeply ashamed of himself. It would have been fine if it had just been sex. If the Kallus in his mind had just been a convenient someone to pleasure his cock. But it had shifted into something beyond mere physical pleasure. He couldn’t chase his own orgasm without imagining doing the same for Alexsandr. _No... Kallus_.

He scratched at his chest. The patches of fur on his torso and thighs, stiff with dried spunk, itched abominably. He would need a shower when he returned to the ship. A good scrub with soap and water was best, but sonic would do for now.

The coming dawn lightened the sky as he approached _Ghost_. Kanan already knelt outside, hands lightly resting on his knees, in the pose he adopted for meditation. Zeb changed his trajectory to give the Jedi a wider berth. He reeked of sex, shame, and guilt. No use in disturbing Kanan’s meditations with it.

He needn’t have bothered. Kanan’s soft voice arrested his movement. ‘You all right, Zeb?’

‘Yeah. Fine.’ Zeb shifted from foot to foot. ‘Hope I didn’t wake ya when I left.’

‘No.’ Kanan turned his sightless eyes toward Zeb, who tried to tamp his emotions down. The last thing Kanan needed was to be overwhelmed by the swirl of conflicting feelings that disordered his own thoughts. Kanan rose to his feet with a fluid grace and walked toward Zeb. He put a hand on Zeb’s shoulder. ‘Wanna talk about it?’

Zeb exhaled with a gusty sigh, ears wilting. Of course Kanan sensed it. ‘Not really,’ he replied in a low, gruff voice. There wasn’t enough alcohol in the galaxy for that.

‘I’m here if you want to,’ Kanan murmured.

‘Yeah... thanks, Kanan.’ He started up the ramp when Kanan’s voice stopped him in his tracks.

‘Zeb, _he’s_ not the enemy. The Empire is.’

‘Yeah?’ He laughed bitterly.

Kanan sighed and knelt once more, letting his hands fall to his knees. ‘I felt him on Bahryn. He was... deeply conflicted. I’m sure you had your reasons for keeping his presence to yourself, and I respect that. I won’t pry and I won’t ask questions. But whatever happened there, it made an impression.’ He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. ‘Very few people are lost to the Light forever, Zeb.’ Kanan’s mouth twisted with a wry grin. ‘Not even Agent Kallus.’

Zeb’s jaw dropped, then he shut it with a snap and marched into the _Ghost_.


End file.
